19.10.02

5 years ago..
phiuuuh.. where's the time gone by??
seems like yesterday though..
i can still remember it clearly
i know dat world changes..people change
i change :) still.. on progress

But 1 thing dat never change from 5 years ago
a feeling for him
which i call "LOVE"
I know he's not mine again
maybe never will again
but.. yes... it still same

every time i saw him
talk to him
feel like it was the 1st time
my heart's beating faster,
flushed.

Yes fay
i still love u
in the very same way

Letting (Him) Go

"I can solve yours, but I can't solve mine, kinda....."

dat is his shout out...

it's about letting him go
letting the love that i have for him
letting all the hopes dat i have

i don't know it could be dat hurts
yeap..it hurts me a lot
breaking my heart and myself into pieces
crying till my eyes and heart hurt
crying until i fell asleep
but i don't think dat could bring us back together

i do love him
truly love.. deep
still...

but i know i cant be like this
he deserves his own happiness
he deserves everything in the world that make him happy
i cant hold him back

i think i failed
failed to keep this love

it's very hard for me
letting him go with full of surrender

am i following the pattern?? his pattern??
or may be it juz me who doesnt wanna change??
just holding back to the past, the sweetest past dat i had with him?

time will heal.. i hope...
i need it.. badly...
i know it might not easy
but i have to move on...
bring back all the pieces together

phiuuuuh....

L@$T D@Y

10 Oct 2007

Yup... daz rite.. today is my last day in torishima
Kinda sad... seperti b'pisah dengan teman baik
banyak yg gw dapet dari hampir 3 taun gw di sini
pengalaman yang bikin gw tambah dewasa,
seneng, sedih, konyol, pacaran lalu putus :p, jatuh dari motor,
dapet bos yg konyol & sedikit baik hati :D, temen-temen yang konyol juga
phiuuuhh... klo di tulis smua ky'nya ga bakal cukup
I can't thank enough for that

gw barharap apa yang udah gw laku'in di torishima bisa bermanfaat buat org lain
dan yang paling penting bermanfaat buat diri gw sendiri

now.. i have to prepare myself to face new challenges, in the new office, new job and my new life

yeap.. i have to move on

it happened to me again..
twice..this week. It fills like have butterflies in my stomach.
ga ngerti apa ini sedih yg sesungguh nya ato hanya merasa takut kehilangan
i know life is go on.. but i could never be prepared for such dat feeling
nyeri banget..

am i too picky? am i wrong being dat??
or it juz me who doesn't let anyone enter my life?
or is it a fear dat i made for escaping my self from the world?
or maybe it juz my ego?

for now i juz cant think anything

may be time will heal..
i hope so.. i really do

i need to move on.. badly... soon!!!

Reuni

26 - 30 September 2007
I went back to Bali
God.. I miss it, a lot..
The air, the land, the beach, the memories....

Seneng banget bisa ketemu temen-temen SMA, ke sekolah ketemu guru2
Kaget juga ngliat perubahan sekolah skg, dibanding yg dulu...wwwuiiii...jauh bgt!!!
trus makan nasi jenggo (Viar.. mantaps bgt tuh nasi jenggo!!!! ^_^ ), jalan-jalan ke ubud
nglewatin rumah lama, gangguin viar-ojie kerja, ngajak ari bolos kerja (say... ma'afkan aku ya.. hehehehe :D ), gangguin Gaung sampe speechless (yes!!! serangan gw berhasil!! hahahaha..)
Blanja aksesoris di sukawati sampe duit tinggal 20rb aja di kantong (Ari : next kita ke sana lagi, mesti mampir ke kadewatan yaaa ), reuni ama temen2 lama di KFC-Matahari, diajak Ade dinner di sanur (di tepi pantai & pas full moon.. damn!!! it was sooo beautiful!!!! de.. bawa gw ke sana lagi yaa ^_^ )

Cuma satu si yang bikin gw sedih.. Ima..
ga nyangka t'nyata selama ini dia ada di sana..
gw coba ngerti'in posisi dia, awal nya menyebalkan memang..
tp setelah dipikir2 & terima sms dr dia, gw coba untuk jadi "lebih" ngerti dia
well.. every body has their own problems, rite???
I juz miss the old u.. miss us
I hope u're fine :))

Well....
Guys... gw pengen kita ngumpul2 lagi, ketemuan lagi, cerita-cerita lagi
gw harap bisa secepatnya ^_^
Miss u all guys...

PS :
Ari, Viar , Ojie & Ade : Many thanx for u all guys!!! I don't what to do if i don't have u while i was in bali... luv u !!!!! Let's be friend for life!!!!